12 weeks, 2 days and Counting!

We (P&M and I) had another doctor's appointment today. I am beginning to feel like a real regular there. I know it is common to visit the doctor on a very regular basis when in my "situation"; but we are there every two weeks. I am not complaining, because I love the quiet time I have with P&M and I love the photos.

So, today was another appointment. Dr. Martin started the ultrasound with Piss. We saw the face, the feet and the cute little arms, just flapping away. The heartbeat was still so strong and the spine is well defined. It really amazes me just how fast they change. Then on to Moan. Again, we saw the head, the feet and arms. But Moan looked like he/she was smiling at us!

We have another appointment in, you guessed it, two weeks. The nurse said we may be able to tell the sexes then, but we are going to wait until James gets home. I don't want that joy without him!

A Little Gas

Okay, this one really got me. And I am sure I will be telling this story for years to come, so I just had to share.

As anyone who has had children can probably attest to, as well as those lucky men to have them, gas (and not the kind for your vehicle) is part of the package. Shall I say I have always had my fair share of it, but being pregnant takes it to a whole different level. The other night my tummy was feeling a little grumbly. I tried Tums and rubbing it to see if that would help; but no. It was soon Dawson's "lights out" time. He spends 20 to 30 minutes reading before lights out, so when the time comes I always climb up into bed with him to give him his hugs and kisses. On this particular evening, I was leaning up towards him and my tummy must have brushed up against his arm. He shot up in bed saying "I felt the babies! I felt the babies!". He has this look of utter excitement on his face and he just gave me a big hug. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was just gas. So, according to Dawson, he was the first one to feel the babies!

Future Gymnasts

We had another ultrasound on January 26th. It was perfect timing since James was heading back to work on the 27th. At this appointment I learn I have already put on 14 pounds (yikes). Although I am mortified, Dr.

Martin is very pleased. She reminds me that my target weight gain is 45 - 55 pounds (double yikes) . . .But I guess I will take one for the team. Ben & Jerry, here I come!

Next thing I knew there was a little baby on the screen. All of a sudden the little "alienesque" creature inside me has a head and body and little arms and legs. And oh so active! With all the flipping and flopping, Dr. Martin had a hard time getting the heartbeat, but she did. And it was so strong - 166 beats per minute! That made mine skip a few.

Then we got to watch our next little gymnast. Just as active as the first with the flips and somersaults. And watching it's little arm moving towards it's head, just like it was ready to start sucking it's thumb! And another strong heartbeat! 164 beats per minute (again, mine skipped a few) . . .

It is just amazing to me to see these little babies forming in my tummy. . .I have heard so many people talking about the miracle of life and how being pregnant has changed them forever. Of course since I have never been through this before I thought, for the most part, that was a canned answer. Yes, I thought it would be amazing. And, yes, the idea of a little one growing inside you is awesome. But changing you forever? Not sure if I bought into that.

Now, only 11 weeks into this, I can honestly say my life has been changed forever. It wasn't until I met James that I knew I really wanted children. I have always loved children, don't get me wrong. But I have also always been the "step-mom". After my first marriage ended, I was grateful that I did not have children. And that thought loomed in my head. What if I have children and this ends? Can I do this on my own? All of those questions were answered when James and I had our first date. I knew I wanted children with him from the first time he looked deep in my eyes. And those questions flew out the window. Because I knew this was it. I thank God every day for the hand I have been dealt. All the heartache in my past has prepared me for this. Everlasting love and the opportunity to experience pregnancy. I am already a mom, but this time I get to start at the beginning!

Thank you honey!

Time for "Fat Pants"

The other day while getting ready for church, I tried on 5 different pairs of pants and 2 dresses. I finally settled on a pair of pants that are normally 2 sizes too big. While sitting in church, waiting for mass to begin, I noticed the zipper on my pants was starting to pull. I leaned over Dawson to whisper in James' ear "I'm busting out of my pants". James laughed and then whispered back, "Okay, after church let's go get you some fat pants". Dawson looked up at his dad with a stern look on his face and said "They're NOT fat pants! They're PREGNANT pants". Dawson then wrapped his arms around my arm and looked up at me with those blue eyes like "There, I took take of that!". . . So, when Dawson is around, don't anyone dare call me fat because he will put them in their place!!!

The day my heart stopped

The boys and I had a wonderful Christmas at home and in Texas. We spent time with my Dad and Brenda, Shelley and David, and the Beisert clan in Bastrop, I caught up with old friends in Austin and then we headed to Houston for James' arrival and to spend the new year with Aly, John and the girls. We headed back to Conway with enough time to rest and get ready for our next ultrasound.

We had our next appointment on Monday, January 5th. We were very excited as this was going to be James' first look at the babies. As I said, we were both excited and we were just chatting away as Dr. Martin started the ultrasound. She was laughing as we were telling her their new nicknames as she was showing James our babies. Then she said we may want to be quiet for a minute. And that's when we heard the first heartbeat. It was so loud and fast. Then I looked at James and I could see a little tear dropping from his eye. And that is when my heart stopped. Then my eyes started to fill up as Dr. Martin let us listen to our next little miracle! This was the moment that I had been waiting for. James and I, together, hearing our babies heartbeats for the first time. Now it was real. I am going to have babies!

Merry Christmas to Us!

I must admit I was very nervous leading up to our next ultrasound. What if one "disappeared"? What if not? Are they growing like they should? Is what I am feeling normal? Oh the questions that were racing through my head. But the day was here (December 23rd) and soon it was my turn. Dr. Martin could not contain her excitement. The thought of me carrying twins just tickled her. She was there for the long road of fertility treatments. She knew how bad we wanted to be pregnant. She dimmed the lights and turned the computer screen towards me. Right away she located number one. The dark spot was larger and now you could see a faint shaded area within the dark spot. That is our baby! Oh, so tiny but there it was. Then she went in search of number two. And there it was. The dark spot was a little larger than before, but not as large as number one. But it, too, had a faint shaded area. There is number two! That is when I started to cry. There are still two babies; we are having twins.

The next two weeks were going to be a challenge. James was still at work and Christmas was upon us. I kept myself busy, trying not to think about the changes that will soon happen. Some changes had already started to take shape. Things I had taken for granted were now rearing their ugly heads. The nausea was not that bad at this point. Sleeping was nonexistent. But it was the holidays and I had lots planned.

Preface

The names are just temporary! My lovely husband and darling sister Alyson were trying to come up with names other than Thing 1 & Thing 2, or Fric & Frac for our twins. They wanted names that would fully encompass everything I was feeling thus far. All of the changes that your body goes through in the beginning were new to me. Apparently I had been complaining a lot. I had not yet seen all the joys of pregnancy. I was still on the "other side". So, that is how they came up with Piss and Moan. That was almost 4 weeks ago. Today, even though I am still sicker than a dog sometimes, I am enjoying the changes. I am excited for their arrival. And come 15 years down the road, I will lovingly tell them of their nicknames when they were in utero. My dad always told me I came into this world "beat red and screaming my head off". And he also says not much has changed in 38 (uh, almost 39) years. I love that story, and I know when Piss and Moan hear their story, they will know it was said with much love, because they will know just how much I love them. I will always piss and moan about something; that is my nature. This is their story.